3 Ways to Turn Hater Vibes into Your Success Story
Have you ever noticed how a stream of positive feedback, both in your professional and personal life, might just roll off your shoulders? Maybe you don't let it sink in, or perhaps you don't fully believe it. But then, when a single person brings negativity your way, it sticks with you, doesn't it? It’s interesting how that works, isn’t it?
While I'm a firm believer in using negative situations to foster growth and improvement, let's be honest—it's incredibly annoying.
So, what can we do to combat the critics out there, and even more challenging, the critics within our own minds?
In our journey through both personal and professional landscapes, we occasionally encounter those moments or individuals that challenge our peace. It might be an accusation, a mischaracterization, or even a blatant attempt to undermine our identity and efforts. This is somewhat reminiscent of ‘cancel culture’ where people are quick to judge and label others without thought, research, or even a shred of truth.
Imagine someone calling you purple when you're clearly not. It's an absurd accusation, isn't it? You wouldn't take offense because it's so far from the truth. This analogy serves as a reminder that not all criticisms or labels should affect us deeply, especially when they're baseless.
Approach Over Reaction
When faced with accusations or negative feedback, it's tempting to jump into defense mode. However, engaging with the person through a lens of curiosity can be more beneficial. Ask them, "What makes you think that?" or "What specifically are you referencing?" These questions aim to clarify and understand rather than confront. Often, this approach can diffuse potential conflicts before they escalate, keeping the situation manageable and less stressful.
The Inner Critic
Equally important is recognizing the critic within us. Our ego and fears can be the loudest haters, holding us back with thoughts like "It's too late," "You're not good enough," or "The market is too crowded." These internal voices are adept at convincing us to avoid taking risks or trying new things.
The truth is, these internal critiques are often based on fear rather than fact. It's crucial to distinguish between legitimate concerns and unfounded fears. When in doubt, ask yourself, "Is this thought based on reality, or is it just my fear talking?"
Taking Action
Facing these challenges, both external and internal, requires courage. It involves doing the hard things, or rather embracing and looking forward to tackling hard things, stepping out of our comfort zones, and not allowing fear to dictate our actions. Remember, it's about progress, not perfection. Taking small and consistent steps towards our goals can lead to significant achievements.
In conclusion, the noise—be it from external haters or our inner doubts—can be overwhelming. Yet, by maintaining your power, seeking clarity, and embracing action over fear, we can turn these challenges into stepping stones toward our success.
Cultivate Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a good friend. This practice can help you navigate through self-doubt and criticism more gently. But don't confuse self-compassion with taking it too easy. you also need to develop the discipline to push yourself forward when necessary and get comfortable doing hard things.
Seek Constructive Feedback: Surround yourself with a supportive network that provides honest, constructive feedback. Getting feedback from people you respect and trust can help you grow and improve which helps you deal with inner and external critics much more effectively as you move forward.
Celebrate Your Wins: No matter how small, celebrating your achievements can boost your confidence and remind you of your capabilities, overshadowing any negative noise. Don't forget how far you've come. Don't forget how many obstacles you've managed to overcome. Yes, there's always another level or another challenge but as you accumulate your small wins those bigger leaps will get easier and easier.
Continue to push forward, remembering that positivity is not just a mindset but a strategy for growth and fulfillment. Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Don't let the haters (external or internal) stop you from taking it.
The Moving Forward Newsletter is a bi-weekly advice column by Kim Peterson Stone, the CEO of Linkability.us where we give you a peek behind the curtains into what it takes to put together campaigns that help you grow your business and career on LinkedIn and in Real Life.
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